KIDNAPPINGS – RED EYE REPORT 222

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about kidnappings that scared the world and captivated the media. No children were harmed in the making of this podcast, but they may have been slapped around a little.

First of we have Oracle. His preferred method of kidnapping is the classic burlap sack.

Nothing perverted though … he just wanted to record their mercy cries for his artsy fartsy creative writing podcast.

Next is Teddy, he was kidnapped in his youth from Detroit and forced to Tennessee by his captors. To this day, whenever anyone asks where he’s from, he still draws hope by saying, DETROIT.

Then we have Mistic. He’s the opposite. He’s a kidgiver. Anyone willing to take his daughters off his hands for the night was fine by him. It gave him a chance to “take the boot off” for the Missus - if you know what I mean.

And I’m Ashtray. I tell people I don’t like kidnapping kids because they are more maintenance than a cat, which is true. But I also tell people, you have to find a new one, to bury the old one.

AND THIS IS THE RED EYE REPORT!!