Red Eye Report
Each episode of the Red Eye Report is an irreverent trip down an obscure internet rabbit hole. The crew discusses video games, movies, television shows, and strange nuggets from history. The results are usually highly inaccurate, sometimes insightful, and consistently hilarious. Find more at theredeyereport.com
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Episodes
Wednesday Jul 31, 2019
Wednesday Jul 31, 2019
In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Impeachment, we fire off misguided attacks on minorities that have no way of defending themselves. And as usual, we put pride into our work, by winking during the money shot.
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Wednesday Jun 12, 2019
Wednesday Jun 12, 2019
This week on the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about ENERGY DRINKS! Red Bull, Monster, RockStar, Four Loko, 5-Hour Energy, Bawls, Crunk, Jolt Cola, Sparks, Venom Energy, NOS, and don’t forget Beaver Buzz - just to name a few.
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Monday Jun 03, 2019
Monday Jun 03, 2019
In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss DeepFakes, or the burgeoning ability to fake video and audio using computer algorithms. Are we fucked? We’ll tell you about it and you can be the judge.
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Wednesday May 22, 2019
Wednesday May 22, 2019
In this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about dogs, we listen to Mistic rant about something, and as usual, we all give Ashtray shit.
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Tuesday May 21, 2019
Tuesday May 21, 2019
Tuesday May 21, 2019
Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we’re gonna update you about them evil sumbitches we first told you about years ago: ISIS - or Dash, as our Middle Eastern listeners would call them. Or Cray-Cray, as the former bad boys Al Qaeda have called them.
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Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we discuss memory. What do we know about making memories? How can we improve our memory? How good is your memory?
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Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
In this episode of the Red Eye Report we talked about cheaters, we tried to pry Oracle back to the real world for the road of VR and as always cuss a whole goddamn lot.
With us tonight is Ashtray. Ashtray's a little testy tonight because he doesn't appreciate me and Mistic's criticism over what he describes as food that he cooked. Now to be fair, he didn't cook any food. What he made was overcooked dried noodles which I don't even know how the fuck you do that with what looks like hot shit and tomatoes mixed with a little racism. So he's going to be a little gassy.
Next to him we have Oracle. He's on a secret mission to get his dad bod that rivals the great Mistic's. How will he accomplish this you might ask? By eating all of his students' food and not sharing any with his girlfriend.
Then there's the Mistic. Mistic had two of his greatest dreams come true the other night when he was mistaken for Guy Fieri at a Smash Mouth concert. And he won't stop talking about it.
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Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
Tuesday Apr 30, 2019
Here’s a story, of a bear named Teddy, who was online when he met this guy once. That guy said hey dude can you be our token, but then that guy left cuz he’s a cunt.
We’ve also got this guy by the name of Oracle. Whos been around since day 1. Sometimes he gets drunk and yells at co-eds, but at least he didn’t show them his hairy nuts.
The baby of the group is named Ashtray. He replaced the cunt who’s name I forgot. Ashtrays kind of slow. But we love his antics, even when he can’t remember stuff.
Then one day these assholes met this Fat man. Who said, he guys, let’s meet up and talk some shit. That was half a decade or more ago though, after so many dick jokes and floppy tits. The Red Eye Report…...The Red Eye Report…….and that’s the way we became the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!!
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Monday Apr 22, 2019
Monday Apr 22, 2019
This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about those Middle Eastern knuckleheads Israel and Palestine.
With us on the trip we have Mistic; who refused to go visit the Wailing Wall - no matter how many times we tried to explain: It’s not that kind of whaling.
Then there is hungover Oracle who stumbled out of the hotel in his bathrobe and dad bod and Walgreens sunglasses, so we called him The Dude. But the locals think he’s white Jesus.
Nobody fucked with Teddy, though. He wore his Black Panther shirt and is telling everyone he’s from Wakanda.
And I’m Ashtray, who learned the Gaza Strip is a sad shit show … and definitely not a gentlemen’s club.
And this is the RED EYE REPORT